Tell, show, try, feedback
A common way parent training sessions run.
-
Tell
What happens
- The BCBA explains the strategy
- Including what a behavior might be communicating
Your part
-
Show
What happens
- The BCBA shows you how it works
- Often during a real routine, like meals or bath time
Your part
-
Try
What happens
- You try it with your child
- Start with one routine or one skill
Your part
-
Feedback
What happens
- Kind, specific tips from the BCBA
- Solving problems together when something is not working
Your part
Parent training is a regular part of most ABA programs. The name can sound like you are being told you are doing something wrong. You are not. Parent training is about teamwork. It helps you and your child’s team work together so the skills your child learns in sessions show up in everyday life.
What parent training is
In parent training, you meet with your child’s BCBA (or sometimes another qualified member of the team) to learn strategies you can use at home. It is sometimes called caregiver training or parent coaching.
Parent training may include:
- Learning why your child’s behaviors happen and what they might be communicating
- Learning the same strategies your child’s therapist uses
- Practicing those strategies during real routines, like meals, bath time, or getting ready for school
- Getting feedback and encouragement from the BCBA
- Solving problems together when something is not working
- Planning how to handle hard moments safely
What it looks like
Parent training can happen in different ways:
- With your child present: The BCBA shows you a strategy, you try it with your child, and the BCBA gives you tips.
- Without your child present: You and the BCBA talk through goals, review data, and plan. This can be helpful when you want to ask questions freely.
- In person or by video: Many providers offer parent training through a secure video call.
- One family or a small group: Some providers offer group sessions with other families. Your provider can tell you what is available.
A common approach is tell, show, try, feedback:
- The BCBA explains the strategy.
- The BCBA shows you how it works.
- You try it.
- The BCBA gives you kind, specific feedback.
Why your participation matters
Your child spends far more time with family than with any therapist. That means you have many more chances to help your child practice new skills. Parent training can help:
- Skills carry over. A skill your child uses only with their therapist is not fully learned. When you use the same strategies, your child can use the skill with you, at home, and in the community.
- Consistency. When everyone responds in similar ways, it is easier for your child to understand what to expect.
- Your goals get addressed. Parent training is where you can bring up the routines that are hardest for your family.
- You feel more confident. Many parents find it helpful to have a plan for hard moments.
- Progress lasts. ABA services usually decrease or end at some point. The skills you learn stay with your family.
Many insurance plans also expect caregivers to take part in parent training as part of the treatment plan. Ask your provider what is expected for your child’s plan.
On paperwork
If insurance pays for services, you may see parent training listed on paperwork or statements with a billing code. The code is simply how the service is labeled for billing. These codes can change over time, so if you have questions about what you see, ask your provider or your plan.
Who can join
Parent training is not only for parents. Depending on your provider’s policies, it may include:
- Grandparents
- Other family members who help care for your child
- Nannies or babysitters
- Older siblings, when appropriate
Ask your BCBA who can take part. Having all regular caregivers on the same page can make a big difference.
Making it work for your family
Life is busy. Here are ways to make parent training manageable:
- Ask for times that fit your schedule. Evenings, weekends, or video sessions may be options.
- Start small. Pick one routine or one skill at a time.
- Be honest about what is realistic. If a strategy does not fit your home or your values, say so. A good BCBA will adjust it.
- Share your wins. Tell the BCBA what is going well, not just what is hard.
- Ask for written notes. A simple summary or a short video can help you remember.
What parent training should feel like
- Respectful and free of judgment
- Focused on your family’s goals and routines
- Clear, with plain explanations
- Practical, with strategies you can actually use
- Sensitive to your culture, language, and values
If parent training feels confusing, rushed, or judgmental, let your BCBA know. You deserve to feel supported.
Parent training checklist
- I know how often parent training is scheduled
- I know whether sessions are in person, by video, or both
- I shared the routines that are hardest for our family
- I know which caregivers can join
- I have one strategy to practice this week
- I know how to reach the BCBA between sessions
- I know what to do if a behavior becomes unsafe
The bottom line
Parent training is not about being a perfect parent. It is about giving you tools and support so your child’s progress can grow at home and last over time. You are an essential part of the team.
